New SCUBA Marketing Acquired by PADI Americas

After months of negotiations, PADI Americas will acquire New SCUBA Marketing, bringing all employees and assets into their new Future Online Opportunity Leadership Systems department. The Future Online Opportunity Leadership Systems department, known as “FOOLS” internally will be the industry standard for online marketing instruction to members of the SCUBA industry.

“I’ve been trying to get Nick to relent for months,” said PADI Regional Manager Barry Dunford, “but all it ended up taking was a PADI backpack and travel mug to get him to come on board. Ever since Hulu started hosting old SeaHunt episodes, my VHS collection doesn’t hold the bargaining power it once did.”

The new department will focus on teaching diving professionals how to market like traditional internet spammers for fun and profit.

“This is a big step for New SCUBA Marketing,” said Nick Bostic, founder of New SCUBA Marketing, “I look forward to leading a highly motivated team of FOOLS to keep PADI at the forefront of internet marketing for the SCUBA industry.”

Expect new courses, multi-lingual training materials, a member update, various emails, application forms and fees, porpoise-delivered decoder rings and marketing materials in your mailbox by the second Tuesday of next week.

In case it wasn’t obvious, happy April Fools day!

Similar Posts